| Family - is not a place for arguments 靜下心來體會∼已婚要看......未婚更要看 Quiet down and feel it those who already married should read...... those who haven't married, must read
寫在前頭：
Fore writing: 這是我的好友在異國結婚時， This is a letter from my best friend's father who
他父親從大陸寄來的信，
wrote this letter to her from China
結婚當日司儀當眾就把全文朗頌出來，
On the wedding’s day, the emcee announced it in front of the public,
那是我見過最安靜的一次請客場合，
That's the only time I saw such a quiet and peaceful ceremony,
在場學生 無不為其父母的摯愛而感動，
Students there was astounded and felt their parents love
雖然事隔多年但那個場景仍然深深印在腦海中，
Although it was over many years, but I still could remember concretely in my mind,
這篇文章後來流傳開了，
Later, this letter were in the circulation
我則是一直保存到現在，
I keep this letter safely until today,
在父親節從新校謄，
On father's day, with a new start
希望能對你們有所啟示．
Hope you would receive the great wisdom.
家-- 不是講理的地方
Family--not a place for argument 一份不在婚禮上的家長致辭 A speech from a remote parents who couldn't attend their kid's wedding
兒：
My dear,
爸媽聽到你要結婚喜訊，
Father and mother heard you are going to marry
真為你高興，
we feel happy for you,
遠隔千里，我們不能參加你的婚禮，
although it is thousand miles away, we couldn't attend your wedding,
不能在婚禮上獻上我們的家長致辭，
father and mother couldn't be there to deliver our speech,
這是我們內心的一點遺憾．
we feel a little sorry in our heart.
但你是我們的女兒，
but you are our daughter,
相信你能理解爸媽的一份感受．
hope you could understand our feeling as parents.
那天放下電話，我和你媽沈默了良久－－
that day, after put down the phone, your mom and I sit down quietly for some time
我們的孩子怎麼一下子就長大了？
how come our daughter grow up so fast?
後來，你媽對著鏡子淡淡地說：
Later, your mum face the mirror and moan:
你看，我的白頭髮又多了，萍兒也該結婚了．
you see, there are getting more white hairs on my head now, think it is time my daughter will get married.
我數著你媽的白髮，那些白髮竟像許多往事，
As I was counting your mom's white hairs, those memories from the old days,
一件一件浮上心頭．你媽提醒我：
just blobbing up one after another. Your mom reminded me:
還是給女兒寫一封信吧！就算是我們送你的一 I should write a letter to my daughter! Just think of it as a 份新婚禮物． Wedding's Gift. 兒，我們只是天底下最平凡的父母， Dear, we are the most normal parents in the world,
我們的孩子也只是天底下最平凡的女兒，
our daughter is also the most normal one in the world,
我們不奢求太多，
we are not hoping a lot,
只是希望我的孩子踏上婚姻之路，
only hope that when our daughter going on the road of marry,
走向人生之旅後，能滿懷感恩，
after heading further her life journey, she is filled with thankfulness,
一路平安在這裡給你一個我們的生活體會．
Along the journey, here we gift you one of our realization in our live journey.
先要告訴你：家不是一個講理的地方 ． Let us start with: family is not a place for argument.
這句話聽起來，很沒有道理，
it sounds unreasonable, or myth
但千真萬確，
but very true,
這句話是真理，是至理，
these words are reality and practical
是多少夫婦，多少家庭（包括我們家）
it is the experience of 10thousands couples, families (including our family)
用多少歲月，多少辛酸，多少愛恨，多少是非, 多少對錯，
over 10 thousands ages and months, 10 thousands of sufferings, 10 thousands of love and hatrate, 10 thousands of true and false, 10 thousands of right/wrong
在糾纏不清難解難分的混亂中，梳理出來的一個最後結論．
it is the final summary after all the bumpy road we had gone through.
當夫婦之間開始據理力爭時，
When there is reasoning argument between a couple, trying to fight for who is right or wrong,
家和就要開始布上陰影．
Family piece and happiness will also start to form a shadow of coldness.
兩人都會不自覺地各抱一堆面目全非的歪理， the couple would unconsciously wrap themselves up with all the unreasoning to protect their reasons,
敵視對方，傷害對方，
seeing your love one as enemy, hurt your love one,
最後只能兩敗俱傷，難以多少夫妻，
ultimately killing each other and both lost. So many couples,
為了表面的一個〔理〕， because of a so called 〔reason 〕，
落得負心無情．
end up being selfish and faithless to their loved one.
他們不知道，
they don't know,
家不是講理的地方，
family is not a place for argument,
而是溫情講愛的地方．．
it is a nest for warmth and love..
不用計較比強．
no need to compare who is stronger and who has the power.
更不是算帳的地方．
It is not even a place for revenge. 那麼，何為〔家〕，家是什麼地方？ So, why 〔Home〕, what kind of place is home?
兒，我們年輕的時候，
Dear daughter, when we are young,
也回答不了這個問題；
we also couldn't answer this question; 也像許多夫妻那樣， just like many other couples,
為一點小事爭鬧不休． because of one small issue or matter, they quarrel and never give up individual point.
那一年為了你小叔的調動問題，
that year, because of a small problem raised by your uncle,
我和你媽大吵了一場，
your mom and I had a terrifying disagreement,
甚至鬧到要離婚的地步．
and we nearly divorced.
只是在那個時代我們還缺乏勇氣．
It is only we lack of bravery during our time.
直到有一天，
Until one day,
一位老戰友在他孩子的婚禮上說：
there is a retired soldier who mentioned it in his son's wedding:
〔希望你白頭偕老，相愛永遠〕時， 〔Wishing both of you stay until both's hairs are white and old, beloving each other forever〕
愛這簡短的字，像春雷響在我心頭
That very short word 'love', it striked in my heart like spring thunder
是的，家不是講理的地方，
yes, a home is not a place for argument,
家該是講愛的地方．
a home is a nest for love and caring.
愛一時很容易，
Loving someone for a short period is easy,
愛一生一世卻不容易，
but loving someone forever is not easy,
這裡頭含許多妙處需要我們去總結和體會．
in there, there are so many wisdom that we need to summarize and experience along the way. 其次我們要告訴你： Secondly,
婚姻是個空盒子，
Marry is like an empty box
你必須往裡面存滿東西，
you have to deposit and make it full and filling,
才能取回你要的東西；
so that you can get what you wanted
你放的愈多，得到的也就愈多 ．
The more you put in, the more you get.
很多人結婚時，對婚姻有許多期盼， So many people when they get married, they hope for so many things in their marry,
期盼從中可以得到富貴，藉慰，愛情，寧靜，快樂，健康，
they hope for wealth, respect, love, piece, happiness, health,
其實婚姻開始的時候，
in fact, marry in the beginning,
只是一個空盒子．
it is just an empty box.
走到一起的兩個人，
the couple who walk together,
一定要養成一個習慣，
must cultivate a habit,
去給，去愛，彼此侍奉，彼此讚賞，
to give, to love, to serve each other, to praise each other,
日後，那個空盒子才會日漸豐富起來．
later, that empty box will growing full and filling and prosperous.
空盒子最先該放的應該是〔思念〕， 〔Memory〕 is the 1st thing that need to be in the empty box in the beginning，
思念是一種使我們刻骨銘心的東西．
Memory is a kind of thing that stays or engraved in us forever.
它是兩個人有了肯定，有了情感，
it started when the couple started to affirmed each other, started to feel the love of each other,
然後進而關懷，進而疼愛的一種情緒．
then they entered the stage of caring, then they entered into emotional love without 2nd thought.
〔思念〕是疲憊時通向家庭的一條小路，
〔Memory〕 is small road to our warmest home when we are tired and stressful,
是 寒冷冬夜中一股暖意，
it is a warm memory when we are chilling during the winter night,
是匆忙推開家門後撲面而來家飯香....
it is the best delicious rice of the family after rush back from stressful work....
空盒子必須放進〔藝術〕，婚姻生活中的藝術 We must put in the 〔Arts〕 in the empty box, the arts within the married life.
在婚姻生活中，
In the married life,
需要講藝術的地方無處不在，
there are endless places where a couple can mention the arts,
生氣有藝術，吵架有藝術．
there is arts when angry, and there is arts when quarreling.
有一對夫婦含辛茹苦養育了五個孩子，
There was a couple who raise 5 kids with their hard work,
其中之艱難，只有他們自己能體會．
In within, no one could realize their pain and stress.
一天，夫妻為了孩子的一件小事吵起來，
one day, the couple come into quarreling because of their kids, 越吵越厲害，眼看不可收拾了，妻子突然說： Just when the quarreling turned extremely bad, the wife suddenly said:
等一下，我要去生孩子了．
'hold on, I am going to deliver a baby soon.'
這句話，就是吵架的藝術．
these words, is the arts within a quarreling. 婚姻的盒子中除了放〔思念〕和〔藝術〕外， Besides putting 〔Memory〕 and 〔Arts〕 that a couple can put in our wedding box,
還有許多東西，都可以放進去，
there are endless things, all could be put in it,
這有待於你們自己去填補．
it is like waiting for you both to fill it and make it full.
寫到這裡想到一位作家說過的一句話
I suddenly recalled an author who said these few words
〔你們生養他，教育他，你們的責任已盡，而你們給他最好的禮物，是一對翅膀〕．
〔You’ll give birth to them, educate them, you'l bared your responsibility, and the best gift that you'l gave them, is a pair of wings〕. 兒，這封信，就是爸媽送給你的結婚禮物， Dear daughter, this is a letter, a thing that mother and I want to give you for your wedding. 他們希望你帶著我們的祝福，快樂的飛翔！ They wish you could carry along with our best wishes, fly with happiness! 爸媽 from Father and Mother. 家庭:爸媽我愛您 FAMILY= Father And Mother I Love You | 